I wear my own skin, I feel my own clothes. I don't open up too much. I have a lot of secrets that no one can know. I fuck up a lot. I'm not at all religious but I curse religiously for emphasis.
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tastefullyoffensive:

The Six Laws of Adorability by Jacob Andrews [collegehumor]

chinatownjets:

closure is such a dumb concept but I’ve realized that it’s all I’ve ever wanted from anyone.
the little things from fucking sophomore year still bug me because it ended without a proper end. give me a reason or give me insomnia thinking about all the frayed ends.

Reblog if you’ll answer sex related questions.

sonofbaldwin:

Apparently, Americans like white Jesus, but not brown Allah.

Politeness is okay, but it gets old and boring. You want to attack life with a passion, not a politeness, you want people to think about you and remember you and say “she is so passionate” you don’t want people to think about you and remember you and say “she is so polite,” because, who cares about polite?
— C. JoyBell C. 

dictator-princess:

tsumaranai-ao:

'I dont think he's 100% gay, but I also dont think he's 100% straight'

is it that fucking hard to say the B word

I know what you are

Say it. Out loud.

Bisexual

the-rest-in-trumpets:

katswhiskers:

velvetonions:

imagine a milkshake place called “shakesperience” where all the milkshake flavours are named after puns of shakespeare plays

  • Oreothello
  • Rolo and Juliet
  • Macberry
  • Mars Ado About Nothing
  • Antonutella and Cleopatra
  • Merchocolate of Venice
  • Two Gentlemint of Verona
  • Richerry III

It would bringeth all the gentlemen to the yard. 

real-faker:

kurtiswiebe:

This perfectly summarizes why I love the Simpsons and hate Family Guy. 

This entire episode summarized why I love the Simpsons and hate Family Guy